The 3 (false) beliefs of ego
Jaden’s Curiosity Chronicles #130 - 4.16.25
Don’t kill your ego.
My spiritual teacher, Aaron Abke, has an OG concept called the 3 beliefs of ego.
These 3 beliefs of ego, lack, attachment, & control, are the basis for ALLL mental suffering.
Ego is a very complex subject in the spirituality & personal development spaces, so I want to clarify this before we start.
When I say ego I don’t mean pride or arrogance, those can certainly manifest via the ego but aren’t the ego themselves.
The ego is a manifestation of our individuality as a Unique Self. The unfortunate part about the ego is that it lives in a separate self paradigm & thus is trapped in a cycle of suffering by this false belief in separation.
At the core of it, the ego’s sole belief is the belief in separation.
Whether that’s separation from God (duality), separation from others (judgement), or separation from yourself (inauthenticity), our beliefs & actions that align with separation continue to fuel the power that ego has over us.
Here the thing, we don’t want to destroy our ego, we want to integrate it.
Nero put this quite beautifully..
“Don’t kill it, conquer it.”
Our ego gives us our individuality. We don’t want to empty ourselves of everything that makes us unique. All we want to do is get rid of the falsities that are holding us back from living in alignment with our truest version.
Falsities that originate & live in the mind.
Since the mind is the creator of the physical reality, as within so without, any misperceptions in the mind must be experienced in our physical reality.
Which can manifest as unfortunate circumstances, sickness, & an overall non-erotic unaliveness..
If the mental plane is the causal realm, & the physical plane the realm of effect, than we have to understand that the misperceptions of separateness or violations of the Law of One in our mind, are the basis for ALL the suffering we experience in our physical reality.
Our negative self thoughts that keep us trapped in guilt & shame cycles.
Our judgment of others that keeps us trapped in pride & competition.
Our denial of our true feelings & intuition that keeps us trapped in our box of inadequacy & inauthenticity.
Our beliefs that God is outside of us & that God wants to punish us because we’re all just hopeless sinners who have no righteousness of our own accord…
These paradigms keep us trapped in our suffering.
Thus we must transcend our dualistic beliefs.
We must transcend this lower level of individuality & reach the level of Unique Self.
A unique manifestation of the One who understands their interconnectivity & lives a life of love, service, & devotion because of that.
Understanding the 3 beliefs of ego will help you identify these aspects of ourselves that are perceiving separation & allows us to accept & heal those parts of our mind.
The 3 Beliefs
#1 Lack
Beliefs: “I am lacking. I am unworthy. I am missing something. I am not whole.”
Associated feeling: Sadness
The belief in lack is the foundation of the 3 beliefs that the other 2 beliefs rest upon.
Our sense of unworthiness, inadequacy, & emptiness drives us to seek things that can fill the hole inside of us.
Which leads us to our next belief…
#2 Attachment or “Outcome Happiness”
Beliefs: “This external outcome will make me happy or whole.” “This thing will fulfill me.”
Associated feeling: Anger
The belief is basically the root of all escapism & hedonism. We constantly seek pleasure or instant gratification because we believe that these worldly attachments (money, muscle, drugs, alcohol, women, followers, etc) will fulfill us.
Unfortunately they won’t…
And we’ll stay trapped in a spiral of seeking more & grater stimulants to recapture our fleeting high.
#3 Control
Beliefs: “I am in control.” “I need control” “I need to control this attachment, because if I lose it I’ll be unfulfilled or incomplete.”
Associated feelings: Fear, anxiety, stress
The belief in control is the most distorted of all. Although we have free will & have a certain amount of agency over our lives, to believe we are the SOLE contributor to our lives is BEYOND foolish.
If we need to know every little detail about a situation or feel like we need total control in any given experience than we have some letting go to do.
We do have the ability to inflict change in our reality, this is true, however we don’t have the ability to directly inflict change in every facet our of lives.
If you hold onto this notion that you NEED control, you’ll always live a stressed existence.
Here’s a lil poem related to control.
Lack. Attachment. Control.
These 3 beliefs are the foundation for all of our suffering.
Starting with the belief in lack, the other 2 beliefs (attachment & control) build upon the previous beliefs.
Thus by tackling the belief in lack, we can make serious headway against the other 2.
So how do we tackle this belief in lack?
2 ways.
Connect to your true nature
Use stillness & presence practices to detach from the physical plane & connect to THE ALL.
If you’re One with THE ALL that means that you’re One with ALL.
If you’re One with ALL that means that ALL is available to you.
It’s merely a matter of internally claiming it & taking the proper action in the external to align to that.
Use gratitude to OWN your lack
Like I said yesterday..
Genuine gratitude = instant recognition of abundance
Gratitude NUKES shame & scarcity mindsets.
Easiest way to alchemize lack into abundance.
If you don’t know what to be grateful for, take a deep breath right now.
That air is keeping you alive.
You’re welcome.
Gratitude + presence are the 2 tools you can use to start making headway against lack & the other false beliefs in ego.
Get to integratin baby.
Do it today. Be better for it tomorrow.
Stay devoted. Stay inspired.
- Jaden
P.S. Tao Te Ching 43 - Stillness & Silence
Only real ones get here 🐐 pound it G 👊🏽